Hunter Elijah,
Since before you were conceived, I knew that I would do this. I knew that I wanted a little boy named Hunter, and I knew that I wanted to write you a letter. I didn't know when, or how I would write it to you, but I knew that I would, not knowing exactly what I wanted to say. I decided just before your first birthday would be ideal to write it for this occasion and I hope that it would be the first of many to you. I have thought about what I would say almost every day since before you were ever created what I would say to my first born son and why. You probably won't recieve this letter until you are close to being a teenager, but I want to feel that the timing would be exactly right and that it will be a crucial moment in your life. I don't know what the circumstances will be, but just like God's timing with you, it will be just right.
The day I found out I was pregnant, I was at Walmart. I wasn't feeling quite right, and I was late by two days and that was normal for mommy. I decided to take a test in the bathroom while I was there to see if I was pregnant. This was a monthly tradition around this time to make sure there were no unexpected surprises. Sure enough, I was surprised on November 3, 2010. Just a month shy of graduating college, I found out I was going to have my first baby. I was in a fog, experiencing a whirlwind of emotions as you were not planned, but you were kind of, expected? I was so excited and so scared. Nothing could have prepared me for those words that I saw on that stick that day. Your daddy was working at a school for college and I called him numerous times after heading to the car to get him to meet me urgently. Your daddy doesn't like surprises like that, when he picked up the phone I said to him, "You need to meet me as soon as you can, we need to talk." "Why what's wrong? Are you okay?", said daddy. "I'm fine, but we need to talk, asap". "You're pregnant aren't you?" "Yes." He then uttered words that aren't nice, but not because he was sad or mad, he was scared, shocked, and speechless. He told his teacher he was working with that he would have to cut the day short and that he just found out about you and needed to see me right away. He met me at the school to talk and we hugged each other. He decided he needed to take the rest of the day off, so he then met with another teacher to get permission and she was one of the first people to know about our little miracle baby along with a few fellow classmates. We then walked to the Koffee Kup at LCU's campus, where mommy and daddy went to college. We proceeded to call your Mimi and Pappy to tell them the news. Mimi cried. Pappy was shocked and excited. We then called your Gigi and she was out with her friend when we told her the big news and she was so excited and asked me about when you were expected to be born and how mommy was feeling. I called your Nana and she and your auntie Jenna we're kinda already upset, but you made her so happy. Your grandpa was at work when I found out but he was so excited. Your uncle David was so excited about you he spread the word all over Facebook as soon as I gave him permission and so did your auntie Jenna. Your aunt Kitty was in Oxford that semester so we told her over the video camera and she was so excited and just knew that I was pregnant before I told her. She couldn't believe it and couldn't wait to see mommy and daddy and hold you. I then announced on Facebook that we were expecting a little bundle of joy in July of 2011 and I got so many congratulations, excitement and prayers for your health and mommy's health and words of encouragement. You were so loved already and you were only the size of the lead of a pencil. A mustard seed.
I got to see you when I was 9 weeks and 4 days pregnant. You were only an inch or two big but I got to hear your heart beat and see you wiggle around. You looked like a sweet little peanut with legs and arms. You were my sweet little angel jumping bean. When I left the doctors office, I held your daddy's hand and cried. I was so happy that you were okay, you were alive and healthy and growing in mommy's belly just as you should be and you were so perfect. When I was 18 weeks pregnant, I got to see you again. Your aunt Kitty and daddy got to see you too and we got to find out that day that you were a little boy. Mommy and daddy were so excited. We saw you sucking your hand, and trying to kick the doctor away. You were our little boy and I couldn't wait to tell the world about the baby boy we were expecting. We had your name picked out and we called you by it. Hunter. Your name is so important. Your name was picked out for you before you were born. Hunter Elijah. To Hunt. The Lord is God. Walter was added around my third trimester. It is your great-great grandfather's first name and our only living great grandfather. His name means commander of the army. That was and has always been our prayer for you. That you will always seek the Lord in whatever you do with your life, no matter how easy, no matter how hard. We want you to be a leader in life and that no matter what, you were the commander of the Lord's army. That was our hope for you in life and always will be.
We recieved so many gifts, clothes, diapers, everything we needed for our little boy and it was recieved with love to help you and keep you safe and happy. The day you were born, we were completely ready for you. We were so excited to finally meet you.
You were born on a Thursday, and we scheduled to meet you that day two days prior because mommy was very big and uncomfortable. You weren't positioned ideally for me to wait for you to come out on your own, so we scheduled you to be born on June 30, 2011. Daddy and I woke up at 3:30 am because we needed to be at the hospital to register and get tests done and get ready for your arrival by 5am. You were born at 7:49 am. You had BLONDE hair and beautiful blue eyes. 10 lbs. 2 ozs. and 22 inches long. You were handsome, beautiful and again PERFECT. All of our family and friends that could be there for your arrival waited for you. They couldn't wait to see you and hold you. Daddy was the first person to hold you in his arms, but no one else could snuggle with you until mommy could. I was feeling sleepy but nothing kept me from nursing and snuggling my baby boy. Being away from you was one of the hardest things I ever did and it wasn't very long until we were reunited. You were perfect in every single way. You finally were given permission to be loved on by so many people and I welcomed the help as I recovered. To this day that's all people have wanted to do with you, play, love: snuggle, hold, kiss, hug, and encourage you. You were then and always have been absolutely perfect in my eyes. From the first cry, first smile, the first laugh, the first words, the first foods, the first crawl, the first pull up, the first kiss and every kiss, hug, and laugh in between, I have loved you. Daddy has loved you.
You're almost a year old. We have loved you since before you existed, we have loved you since the size of a sesame seed, since your first cry until this very day and beyond, we have loved you. This world can be cruel, life will suck, life will be exciting, it will be new, and old, you'll be sad, you may be depressed, you may be so happy, but no matter what, the love a parent has for his and her child only grows stronger, deeper, and better. I pray that no matter what boo boos, and heartaches you ever experience from your 1st day, to your 1st birthday, til your 101st birthday, no matter what I pray that you'll always know the love that a parent has for their child, and even after we're no longer here, that you will hopefully experience that love with your own child(ren) and I pray that you will be blessed to have a child because it as bond that can't truly be explained, only felt. The only love greater than that is the love that God has for you. I pray that you'll always feel and know that he is God and that he is your father and daddy and will always take care of you when we don't know what to do, or how, or when we're no longer here. He will NEVER leave you or forsake you and even when you may not be able to feel him present, he sees you, he hasn't forgotten you as he has never forgotten your mommy and daddy, so he'll not forget you either. We love you, God loves you. You are the greatest blessing God has ever given to us. You ARE a blessing to countless people. I love you so, so, so much. My boo boo, little bubba, bugga boo, boo bear, little chip, sea monkey, Huntey Wuntey, my bug, bugga boo baby are so many names for you given in just the first year by those that love and adore you. To my sweet boy always. Happy 1st Birthday in 4 days.
30 weeks 1 day pregnant with Hunter
Delivery Day
My Baby Boy
First Family Picture
Almost One Year!
Love,
Mommy
